BEING A CHRISTIAN MED STUDENT IS HARD
Imagine getting your grades back and you see an ‘F’. Then you cry and question everything in life. ‘But i studied Lord’. ‘But i begged You God’. You wail through the night.
Then wipe your tears and rest for the night because Joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
Morning comes and everyone is talking about ‘how easy that exam was’. How they honored it or how they were 1 point away from honoring it and you’re just there, watching and listening with an ‘F’ on your transcript and nothing but sorrow from yet another disappointment for the rest of the day or week until the Lord gives you peace for the past and hope for the future.
Now, i want you to imagine that, but imagine it happen multiple times in the same year and the testimony of ‘But at the end i passed and now I’m done’, not being part of the narration yet. That’s me…right now.
I’m writing this blog for anyone that is probably going through this or ever will and for myself honestly, to in some way shed light on the difficulty of life as a Christian med student/ Student generally but the able hands of the Christ we say we believe in.
I have cried my fair share of tears through out this journey but even more than i thought i could in the last 2 years as i failed my first attempt at USMLE step 1 exam and a couple shelf exams. It’s the 3rd year out of 4 and seeing all those disappointing scores spiraled me to a point i didn’t even know i could reach. I fell into a depressive episode that lasted months and had more panic attacks than I’d like to remember.
I remember one panic attack specifically. It came when i re-opened UWORLD (A question bank) after getting my step 1 grades back. Next thing my face went hot, my eyes blurry, I couldn’t breathe and i just wailed and wept holding my chest and gasping for air, and because nothing and no one else could comfort me in that moment. I told my little sister to please pray for me in that moment because i felt like death…
Sure! I’ve failed somethings before in like primary school…but not like this. Not when i tried (or believed i did). But take care because that’s when the lies from the devil can seem like the loudest voice in the room. I know because it seemed like the loudest voice to me for sure, because that’s when the questions began; ‘am i where the Lord wants me?’, ‘Does the Lord know I’m here? in med school?’, ‘am i just not cut out for this intensity?’ And the worst of all ‘am i just not Christian enough that the Lord doesn’t love me like He loves the others?’.
I don’t know you personally, so i don’t have the answers to those for you personally, Or myself honestly, but what i do know is the Word. Let all else be a lie, but you see the Word of God? That is true. (Matthew 24:35, Numbers 23:19).
One of the things that give me comfort in times where i feel like I’m spiraling is praying, and since the Word is the unrivaled truth, how much better can it get than praying WITH the Word. So Let’s go through some scripture and pray together and i pray you find comfort as we do because even the scripture said in James 5:13 — Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. So because I assume you found this article because you aren’t really cheerful now…lets pray…
Proverbs 24:16 — The Godly man trip 7 times, but they will get up again
Children Of God, did you fail? Did you fall? Get up! You only truly fail when you stop getting up. I know, our human bodies are weak, which is perfect , because it is said in;
2 Corinthians 12:9 — Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness’~
that His power works best in weakness. So don’t look down on your weakness. Now the flesh is dead and Christ’s power can show forth and you can now only boast in His name
Let’s pray: Father God i know You tell us to get up anytime we fall, but Lord see us please. We are flesh, and flesh is weak, and You told us that Your power is made strong in weakness. Lord please we come in our weakness and bleeding knees before Your throne to ask for Your strength to pick us up and walk this walk with us and guide us accordingly because You said in Your Word we should remind You of Your Words In Isaiah 43:26, and Your Word says in Psalm 73:24 — ‘You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny’. Please Lord guide us to this glorious destiny You have for us for it is also written in Your Word in Philippians 1:6 — ‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns’. So Christ thank You for You have told us You will finish the good work You’ve started in us, and we thank You in advance for that.
All this is easier said than done, I completely understand. I’m personally still in the stage of crying bitterly for hours as I study through tear wipes. But I would say one of my biggest worries even through reading the truth in His Word is ‘what if it’s too late?’, and if you’re like me and have that worry too then I would like to collectively remind all in attendance, of the story of Lazarus in John 11.
Yes when i first read the story years ago as a kid and every other time after, what i learned from it was that ‘Even death, the thing that silenced all who had flesh, Christ could conquer it. That with Christ, death isn’t the end’, and although this is true. About 2 years ago the Holy Spirit (I believe) gave me a new understanding of it. Christ came 4 days AFTER Lazarus died and was put in the tomb. People may even re-word to say, He came 4 days late, even Mary kind of eluded to it saying in
John 11:32 — ’~Lord if You had been here my brother would have not died’,
and the fact that in
John 11:39 it is said that at that time an odor would have most likely been present by then.
Everything kind of painted the picture that Christ was late, but what did Jesus do? Even with all these external factors? He told Lazarus to ‘come out’. That was the new teaching i had. That Christ is NEVER late. 5 days? 5 years? Christ is never late.
Also another teaching/prayer point i just got (again most likely the Holy Spirit) from the same story was from
John 11:4 — But when Jesus heard it He said, ‘This illness does not lead to death. It is for the Glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.
Although you’re in pain, I pray this loss or failure you’ve recently received is not one that will lead to a dropout or fallout from this journey the Lord has put you on, but through it the name of the Lord shall be magnified.
And to conclude I must bring up another important fact stated in
James 2:17 — So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead
The Bible does say we should have faith. In fact it says in
Matthew 17:20 — that if we had faith as small as a mustard seed that we will say to the mountain to move and it will move.
So remember Children of God (I’m also talking myself here) it’s not just saying the scriptures, you need to have FAITH. You don’t have faith? That’s fine, our God is a loving God, so ask Him (Matthew 7:7–8 — ask and it shall be given unto you).
But even in faith please remember, like the scripture says in
Proverbs 22:29 — Do you see a person skilled in his work? He will stand in the presence of kings. He will not stand in the presence of the unknown.
We need to put in the WORK! Self disciple! Practice! Practice! We need to be that person skilled in his work. I pray the Lord will guide our hands and refine our efforts so can be part of the people skilled in their works, so we also can stand before kings.
That’s it guys. I’m not a preacher, or a youth leader. Just a Christian med student going through one of the toughest and scariest time of my life, and when I searched and found nothing to comfort me I was moved to then write this. So please if you have any corrections, words of advice or wisdom, a testimony or anything please feel free to share in the comments, because community is a good thing even the Bible acknowledges that;
1 Corinthians 12:26 — So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
SONG OF THE POST: Olorun Agbaye- You are Mighty by Nathaniel Bassey
It’s just an amazing Christian song I’ve been having on replay through this tough time. I hope it brings you some comfort as you listen to it. ❤️
CLOSING REMARKS:
Hey! I’m not sure if you are Christian or not and you just stumbled on this post, but if you’re not, and you feel led to give your life to Christ, you can pray the following and believe in your heart that the Lord has heard and answered you and you’ll be part of the Christian family :) (it’s pretty cool over here honestly 😎)
THE SINNER’S PRAYER:
Dear God, I know that I’m a sinner and i need a Savior. I want to turn away from my sinful life to the life You have planned for me. Please forgive me my sins. Cleanse me of my past, make me new. I know Your Son, Jesus Christ died for me. I believe in my heart that You raised Him from the dead. At this very moment, I accept, confess, and proclaim Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior…to live in my heart from this day forward. Thank you Jesus for Your grace that has saved me from my sins and has given me eternal life. Please send Your Holy Spirit to guide me, and to help me do Your will for the rest of my life, in Jesus’ name Amen.
❤️Rejoice, for Heaven has gotten another one (Luke 15:7)❤️